馬思純首次公開回應分手!分手應該體面,知名情感專家教你最佳分手方式!

普特英語聽力網2018-10-21 15:05:19

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近日,“首次公開回應”這條新聞火了起來,並且登上了新浪微博熱搜榜,一度更是登上熱搜榜榜首。那麼究竟是怎麼回事呢?這件事的來龍去脈又是個神馬情況呢?



10月10日,馬思純在直播時首次公開回應分手一事,表示:“分手並不是一件特別可怕的事情,只要知道愛自己最重要,問心無愧最重要。”還暖心叮囑粉絲都要過好自己的生活。



整個事件還要追溯到8月8日,馬思純工作室和歐豪工作室紛紛發表聲明,“人生聚散終有時,兩人已決定回到朋友關係,願未來前路各自珍重。”二人於17年3月馬思純生日當天公佈戀情。





許多網友很震驚,表示之前十分看好馬思純和歐豪這一對CP的,現在再也不相信愛情了。



關於“分手”在英文中的表達方式,大家已經屢見不鮮了吧。先來道“開胃菜”!


1. break up with 


When you break up with somebody you love, that’s awful; and it takes time to get over. 

當你和所愛的人分手了,那是件糟糕極了的事,而且需要很長時間來恢復。


2. split up 


I was beginning to think that nothing could ever split us up. 

 我漸漸開始以為沒有什麼事情能把我們分開。


3. dump


John dumped Maria yesterday. 

約翰昨天把瑪利亞甩了。


4. say goodbye to 


Upon graduation did they say goodbye to each other.

一畢業他們就分手了。


5. part company with 


He was forced to part company with his girl friend when he was offered another higher position in another city.

由於在另一個城市裡謀得了一份較好的職位,他被迫也女友分手了。


6. finish


Finish有“完成”、“結束”的意思,要是和某人finish了,意思就是倆人關係結束了。


She finished with her boyfriend last week.

 她上週跟她男友分手了。



就像《體面》這首歌唱的那樣:分手應該體面,誰都不要說抱歉。你知道怎樣才能體面分手嗎?時代週刊的專家就給出了分手的正確方式,一起來了解下吧。


There are few feelings worse than being dumped. But being the one to end the relationship may be a close second.

世界上沒什麼感覺能比“被分手”更糟糕了。不過,一段戀愛中主動分手的一方的糟糕感覺就算比不上,也算是僅次之吧。


a close second 緊隨其後,僅次於


The truth is, breakups aren’t easy for either person. But if you’re the one doing the dumping, there are a few things you can do to make the experience less painful for both you and your partner. Here’s the best way to break up with somebody, according to relationship experts.

事實是,分手對戀愛雙方來說絕非易事。然而,若你是主動分手的一方,那麼你可以通過一些方式讓分手給彼此帶來的痛苦更輕微一些。以下是一些情感專家列出的最好的分手方式。



Tell the truth — but don’t be cruel

來一次坦白的對話-不過別太殘忍


If you’re ending a relationship, you owe it to the other person to explain why, says Rachel Sussman, a New York City psychotherapist and author of The Breakup Bible. “The people that I see who have the hardest time after a breakup, it’s because they don’t understand,” Sussman says. Ideally, your reason shouldn’t shock the other person, because you’ve discussed it in the past and tried to work through it, Sussman adds.

若你打算結束一段戀情,你需要讓對方能夠完全理解你分手的原因。Rachel Sussman(雷切爾·)是紐約的一位精神治療醫師,同時也是《分手聖經》一書的作者。“在我所認識的人中,有些剛分手會經歷一段最艱難的時光,因為他們無法理解分手的原因”,薩斯曼說。“你的分手理由最好不會刺激到對方。畢竟這個分手理由你在過去也想了一段時間,並且你自己也嘗試著去接受”,薩斯曼補充道。


psychotherapist [,saɪko'θɛrəpɪst]:精神治療醫師

work through 通過反覆思考來解決問題(尤指感情問題)


Guy Winch, a New York City psychologist and author of How to Fix a Broken Heart, agrees that you should give a reason, but stresses that a breakup isn’t license to unload all of your pent-up complaints and snide comments — even if the other person says they want to hear them. Listing every last annoyance isn’t productive and will only drag out what’s likely to be a painful conversation.

蓋伊·溫奇(Guy Winch)不僅是紐約的一位精神治療師,還是《如何修復一顆破碎的心》一書的作者。他很贊同“分手應該要有理由”這一觀點。不過,他強調即使對方樂意傾聽你,分手也並不是你向對方傾瀉積壓已久的抱怨和對他們說些譏諷性言語的許可證。向對方吐露所有的不快並沒有什麼卵用,那隻會拖延一次極可能是極為痛苦的對話。


license to sth  得到做某事的允許和許可

pent-up  ['pent'ʌp]:〔感情、精力〕被壓抑的

snide  [snaɪd]:挖苦的,諷刺的

drag out 拖延;從(某人口裡)套出(某事)

annoyance  [ə'nɒɪəns]:煩惱;可厭之事;打擾


It’s also important to choose your words carefully, the experts agree. “Phrase something as, ‘This bothers me,’ or ‘This really was difficult for me,'” instead of blaming the other person, Winch says. 

分手時的措辭一定要小心翼翼,這點很重要。情感專家們也都很認同這一觀點。溫奇說:“分手時可以說類似於‘這段感情讓我很困擾’或‘這段感情很難走下去了’這種話”,而不是去指責對方。


Finally, resist the urge to soften the blow with platitudes. Saying, “‘We can be friends,’ or ‘Now’s not a good time for me,’ all sound like, well, maybe in the future” things could work out, Winch says. Don’t imply that’s the case if it’s not.

最後,一定忍住不要說些不痛不癢的陳詞濫調。溫奇說,陳詞濫調往往都是“我們可以做朋友”或“現在的時機對我來說很不好,可能未來還會有機會”等諸如此類的話。如果不確定,一定不要向對方作出暗示。


platitude  ['plætɪtjuːd]:陳詞濫調;平凡;陳腐



Do it face-to-face

分手必須要面對面


Both Winch and Sussman say in-person breakups are the most considerate and mature option for established couples, and should preferably happen in a private place. “If it’s in public, they might be distraught, and then they have to somehow get home, which is horrible,” Winch says. The best place to do it is in their home, not yours, he adds, so you can leave if the situation gets too drawn out, and so that they’re in a familiar place.

溫奇和薩斯曼都認為面對面分手對確立了關係的戀人來說是最為體貼和最成熟的選擇。會面的地點應該選在私人場所。“如果選在公共場合,雙方一定都會心煩意亂。最終結果可能是各回各家,這太恐怖了”,溫奇說。他還補充說,見面分手的最佳地點不是在自己家中,而是在對方家中。這樣,如果見面分手演變為一場持久戰,你就可以先行離開,而對方就可以待在自己最為熟悉的地方---家。


established couples 已確定關係的戀人

distraught  [dɪ'strɔːt]:憂心如焚的,心煩意亂的


A phone-based breakup may be okay if you’re dating long-distance, or if you’ve only seen each other a few times. For very new dating situations that have only lasted a date or two, you can even get away with a text.

如果你們是異地戀或者彼此只有為數不多的幾次會面,通過電話分手也行得通。如果在一個新的約會地點只約過一兩次的話,你完全可以在約會時留下一張紙條就走人。


phone-based breakup  通過電話分手

long-distance dating 異地戀


But even if you’ve only been on one date, Winch says it’s always better to be upfront, rather than ghosting. He even recommends writing out a boilerplate message — something along the lines of, “Thank you, it was fun, but I didn’t feel a romantic connection” — and keeping it on hand for those situations.

如果你們只有一次約會經歷的話,最好進行一次坦率的對話,而不是玩消失。溫奇甚至還推薦了分手的標準化文本,這裡選取了幾行,“謝謝你,這段戀情我很快樂,不過我沒有感受到一絲絲浪漫”--這在很多分手狀況下都適用。


upfront  [,ʌp'frʌnt]:〔行為、談話〕坦率的,誠實的

ghosting  ['gostɪŋ]:幽靈,鬼魂(特指戀愛中“不告而別”和“玩消失”的分手方式)



Be sure

斬釘截鐵


All too often, Sussman says, the person who ends a relationship has second thoughts once the deed is done, which only makes for a messy, painful situation. “Spend some time soul-searching, journaling, talking to a really good friend or family member or talking to a relationship specialist” to get your thoughts in order, Sussman says.

薩斯曼說,通常主動分手的一方在分手後都會再三考慮自己的做法。這隻會使劇情更狗血,讓雙方更痛苦。薩斯曼還說,“花一些時間拷問自己的靈魂、寫篇日記、與最好的朋友和家人交談或諮詢情感專家”都會讓你理清自己的思緒。


second thoughts 重新考慮;改變主意

make for 導致;有助於;走向

soul-searching  ['səul,sə:tʃiŋ]:深思;真摯的自我反省


While it may feel uncomfortable to carry on the relationship while you make up your mind, Winch says it’s a necessary evil. “Everyone who wants to break up, every single person, does not voice that the minute they think it. They have to process it and be sure and be ready,” Winch says. “That’s how it works.”

如果你已下定決心分手,繼續這段感情很可能會讓你感到難受。溫奇說這是不可避免的一場災禍。“對每一個想分手的人來說,他們都不會說心中一有想分手的念頭,就會做好準備,斬釘截鐵地分手。就是這樣。”,溫奇說。


make up one's mind to do sth 下定決心做某事

a necessary evil 無可避免的一場災禍


Once you’ve resolutely decided to end things, however, you shouldn’t delay the conversation or prematurely act like you’re single, Sussman says. “The dumbest thing people do is get involved with other people before their relationship is over. They just want to have a plan B. It can also be to create distance, maybe even on some level of wanting to get caught,” she says. 

然而,一旦你死了心要分手,就不要拖拖拉拉或者過早地表現得你像單身一樣。“最愚蠢的莫過於在上一段戀情尚未結束就投入到下一段當中。這些人通常都是有B計劃的,想刻意創造一些距離感,甚至是想引起他人的注意”,溫奇說。


resolutely  ['rezəlu:tlɪ]:堅決地;毅然地

prematurely['premətʃəlɪ]:過早地,早熟地;貿然



Let them decide whether or not to contact you

讓對方決定是與你繼續保持聯繫還是拉黑你


It may seem kind to check in on your ex or to maintain a friendly rapport after a breakup, but resist the impulse. Both Sussman and Winch say the person who got dumped should be the one to decide when, or if, they want to reopen contact — and ideally, that should only happen after you’ve both moved on completely.

分手後對前任保持關注或者與其保持友好關係看起來很美好,不過你要抵制這種衝動。在薩斯曼和溫奇看來,何時聯繫以及是否聯繫的決定權應該交給被分手的一方。理想狀況下,在你們徹底放下並開始自己的新生活前,最好不要聯繫。


check in on sb  關心某人,關注某人

rapport  [ræ'pɔː]:密切關係,交往;和諧一致

dump  [dʌmp]:丟棄,拋棄(特指戀愛中被甩,常用被動語態)


“The person who’s been broken up with has a right, a couple weeks later, to say, ‘Can we talk? Can we go over this again?'” Sussman says. But aside from that, couples should take time apart before trying to become friends, if they take that step at all, she says.

薩斯曼說:“分手一週過後,被分手一方有權力說‘我們能聊聊嗎?我們還能做朋友嗎?’”。不過,如果完全發展到這一步的話,分手的雙方在試著成為朋友前應該分開一段時間。


take time apart  分開一段時間(暫時不聯繫)


Let at least three months pass before starting any kind of friendship, Winch says — adding that most people who follow this rule opt not to get back in touch. If you’re the person ending things, Winch says you should prepare yourself for that possibility and give your ex their space, as hard as that may be.

溫奇還說,這段時間至少應該有三個月。大多數遵循這條規則的人都選擇與前任斷絕聯繫。如果你是主動分手的一方,你應該準備好自己承擔起那份責任,給前任足夠的空間,即使這樣做很難。



opt not to do sth 選擇不做某事

get back in touch 恢復聯繫


關於最正確的分手方法你學會了嗎?這時候就扎心了,前提是 ...前提是......前提是.........你得先要有個男(女)朋友。



總而言之,感情這件事無法勉強,沒有贏家,也沒有輸家,你只能盡其所有地去愛。緣起時惜緣,緣滅時好聚好散。


熱門回顧


1. 太秀了!范冰冰致歉信成語文課改錯範本,網友直呼真的很嚴格了!

2.黴黴遭特朗普傲嬌怒懟,竟是因為這個女人?

3.“for good”不是“為了XX好”,你還要錯多久?

第七期聽力訓練營開始啦

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